What sets successful people apart, is not that they don’t have set-backs, or failures but how they handle their emotions during these tough times.
In this post, I’m going to share with you psychologically sound, Self-leadership strategies to develop your resilience & bounce back faster.
Read on, or Watch this Video
If you are reading this, it’s likely that you have experienced disappointment or heartache at some point in your life. Issues like; injury, illness, losing a job, financial problems, failed business, the end of a relationship are life’s way of knocking us on our ‘arse’ and testing what we are made of.
Personally, I have been through a business disruption that took me from owning houses, cars and living the life to completely broke, with zero assets, living day-by-day in a back-packers hostel. After rebuilding my life and starting another business, I was again disrupted by a divorce that I didn’t want.
As an Executive Coach, and after talking to and interviewing successful people, I know I’m not alone; and that a set-back, rather than stopping you being successful, is very likely part of your success journey, provided you follow these strategic steps.
Step 1: Accept
Stuff happens! Life is not fair! What are you going to do?
Blame, complain and be a victim? Or are you going to accept that this reality?
Set-backs and failures hurt. Don’t deny the pain, accept it, and realize that your emotions are helping you to process the gap between your expectations and reality?
When you accept that your emotions are preparing you to be stronger next time, you will be pleasantly surprised that you move through the pain faster. Every set-back or success has a lesson in it.
I was talking with a successful trader and discussing how he handles making a loss.
“Of course it hurts, but regardless of whether I make a loss or a win, I set the emotions aside and analyse what I can learn for next time”.
What’s key in this statement is the understanding that there will be a next time. So, as you accept the emotions and the emotions subside, you can take the learning from the situation, which prepares you for the next step.
Step 2: Adjust
Like a sailing a boat across a harbor, you must adjust your course and your sails to deal with; wind, tide and obstacles. When set-backs happen, you are going to need to adjust your thinking and behaviors.
If your premise, hypothesis or expectations were not accurate, then update them with the learning you have gained with this experience.If your behaviors or actions were not correct, then adjust these.
Recently I injured my shoulder in the gym. Not a major set-back, but a set-back nether-the-less because I had a goal to regain some lost fitness. At first, I ignored the injury and pushed on, but the pain got so bad, I had to accept that this was a reality.
My frustration was fierce, but the lesson was clear, I wasn’t training my shoulder properly and I was going to need to adjust my expectations and my training regime (more about this in another blog post).
Step 3: Advance
Once you have accepted and adjusted, it’s time to move forward. Success is always about movement towards your goals.
Whether that goal is related to health, relationships, career, business or wealth. You must keep taking action towards that goal. After a failure or set-back, you might not feel like taking big actions, so, set micro-goals.
A micro-goal is something you can achieve in the short time. If you have been rejected, and are feeling insecure, a micro-goal could be just smiling at 10 people. If you are recovering from an injury, you might set a Micro-goal to walk 1-block. If you have been wiped out financially, a Micro-goal could be to save $10/week. What matters is you advance by setting new goals and as you achieve them you begin your bounce back.
During a painful divorce, some years ago. I struggled to accept the reality that the marriage was over. But once proceeding were over, and I accepted my new status and my responsibilities as a father to my children. I adjusted my behaviors and became comfortable in my skin again. Once, I had accepted and adjusted, An amazing thing happened; I met a beautiful woman and my life has advanced in so many ways. But I will tell you more about that in another video 🙂
Here’s my challenge to you:
Now you have the strategy of; Accept, Adjust & Advance. Where in your life do you need to apply this? Pick one area of your life or business and go through the process.
Accept, Adjust and Advance.
Now, Share this video with 5 friends. Because success is easier when you share your goals with those that support you, and remember,
You can’t lead others – unless you first lead yourself.
This is Andrew Bryant – Motivational Speaker and Self-leadership Coach – Until next time!